Gwing Snippets of the Frivolous Variety
by Quiet Man Cometh
Summary: The silly, the amusing, the sarcastic, the WTF?, and the just plain what was I on/thinking? Characters involved are listed in chapter titles.
1. Soldier vs Birthday 6,9

March 29, 2010

"Soldier vs. Birthday"

Zechs lay on his stomache on the floor, lazily flipping the pages of his book while tuning out the squeals of his charges around him. The constant peeking and giggling of his sister however, was less easy to ignore.

He heard the approaching voices, the keys in the door, and waited for the inevitable spray of laughter, which was right on cue. He didn't look up to see what sort of expression Lady Une might have been wearing, but he could well imagine the face on Noin, and she was laughing.

"Zechs..." Noin managed to squeeze out in betwen gasps. "I'm sorry...it's just...you look..." She wasn't going to stop anytime soon. All Zechs could do was grin -or not- and bear it, and he did, resting his head on one hand and stretching his legs, bound together from the knees down with three pink and purple jump ropes.

"He was taking a nap" one of the young girls said proudly as she finished braiding another ribbon into his hair and securing it with a tiny bow or barrette, he wasn't sure, the fifteenth such item if his count was right. The barrettes weren't so bad, though the headband was starting to chafe.

Noin finally stopped laughing enough to form coherant sentences and Lady Une corralled the young girls into the dining room for cupcakes. She cast one eye back to were Zechs was still prone on the floor. She raised an eyebrow. Zechs sighed. "It was just easier this way."

Une followed the children into the dining room while Noin finally reached down to untie Zechs' legs and the two of them sat on the couch removing the plethora of princess decorations from his hair. "I hope the glitter is going to come out." She said while she picked at a looping braid creation. Zechs did not seem to hear the sentence past the word "glitter." Noin smiled and ran her fingers through his hair, checking for knots and lingering around the strands at the back of his neck which he was pretty sure had been made tangle free some time ago. She pinched the furry ears on the headband. "I think we'll leave these in a little longer."


	2. Undercover 6,1

August 31, 2010  
(I thought, I laughed, I wrote ;) )

"Undercover"

"Is this truly necessary?"

Zechs sat crooked on the vanity counter, turned towards the mirror, patting down his face and torso with a large, pastel coloured puff.

"It's required for the mission," came Heero's no-nonsense reply. "Are you finished with that?"

"Mm-hm."

Zechs tossed the loaded puff towards Heero on a direct line for his head. Heero intercepted the bundle before impact but was still reward with a cloud of iridescent powder in the face. He simply looked to the side and began patting himself down over top of his tank-top. A few minutes later he hissed.

"What?"

"I can't get the bite marks to stick."

"There's a barbeque fork in the kitchen." Zechs was still facing the mirror, this time gingerly fitting two acrylic tooth caps.

"Nice try. I've seen your performance records with handheld weapons." Heero was leafing through the duffel bag full of black clothing and costume jewellery while wearing an as yet unaltered expression of dissatisfaction.

"Touch of realism?" Zechs turned to Heero and smiled, revealing newly pointed canines.

Heero just glared.

"That one's for you." He tossed Zechs a dress shirt of black silk to match nicely with his black pants and black shoes. The shirt was open in the front and notably lacked buttons.

"Tell me again why Duo isn't doing this?"

"Unavailable." Heero secured denim jeans with a silver studded belt while Zechs slipped into his shirt. "And for once you won't stick out."

Zechs raised one eyebrow, before turning to take an appraising look at himself in the mirror. Heero stood next to him and gave himself a once over. "The convention is in two hours."

"The target is confirmed as attending?" Zechs was leaning over and inserting a contact lens that just slightly altered his eye colour.

"Affirmative." Heero turned back to the duffel bag to pack up the supplies. He turned to Zechs. "First one to cuff the mark is the winner."

Zechs turned to Heero. "And the loser?"

A smile tugged at Heero's lip. "Wears the glitter and teeth at work for a week."

Zechs returned a like smile. "You're on."

No, I have not read _Twilight, _this is just for fun. :).


	3. Dumb Blondes 4,6,9,11

September 27, 2010

(Random scenario that's been in my head for a while. Added Quatre in for the hell of it.)

**Dumb Blondes**

Anne walked down the sidewalk towards her car. She was still in uniform, still head of Preventer, but her hair was down and her signet pin in her purse and 'Lady Une' with it. "Anne" was strictly off duty.

She wouldn't have stopped if she hadn't seen him in the window, and been positive that it couldn't possibly have been him. Same blonde hair, same blue eyes, same face handsome enough to be the envy of every plastic surgeon from Paris to L2, except that face was tilted sideways, that hair was pooled on the table, and those eyes were dimly focused on a woman across from him at the table they were sitting at. The woman at the table was not his partner.

She wouldn't have gone into the open door either, if a familiar voice hadn't called out and she looked to see the woman, who _should_ have been sitting across from Zechs, waving from a booth inside.

"Anne" she said, when the Preventer boss walked inside.

"Lucy" was the returned greeting. "Lucy" was also strictly off duty and off record. Lucretia waved her friend to the empty part of the booth and one of the staff came over to offer a drink order.

"I didn't expect you to be here tonight."

"I had no intention to. But that," Anne gestured towards Zechs, "is not normal. Care to explain?"

Noin smiled, and pointed to another table a few feet away. "And that?"

Rum now in hand, Anne looked to see one Quatre Winner – always Quatre Winner no matter what time of day – looking fascinated while a young lady next to him appeared to be explaining something.

"Tell me there is a reason for this and that I'm not about to lose two of my best agents to what I assumed was only stereotype?"

Noin smiled again, "it's a game of sorts. How stupid can they get before people stop buying them drinks. I believe Zechs is down to using only monosyllabic words and Quatre is counting petty equations on his fingers."

Anne paused with her drink midway to her lips. "I don't know which half of the species I should be more bothered by."

"The man to the left of the bartender has been trying to flirt with Zechs for about half an hour now."

"Too dumb to pick up on the innuendo?"

"I insist he not pick up on the innuendo." Noin tipped up her own glass to flash the silver ring on her finger. Anne finished her rum. The woman across from Quatre looked like she might start dangling her car keys in front of him.

"I _will_ still have two functional agents in the morning, I assume?"

"I can't guarantee that. That brunette there is pretty persistent."

"As long as they don't show up with stupefied faces."

"Don't worry. When the lack of intelligence starts to look genuine we call it quits."

"Haven't yet reached the threshold of stupidity?"

There was a loud 'thud' as Zechs' chair tipped backwards and he landed in a heap, lifting his long hair away from his face with one arm, and smiling.

"What do you think?"


	4. Doodles 2,3,4,5

October 7, 2010

Inspired by a snippet that has not been written, in turn inspired by a comment from karina001.

**Doodles**

In all probability, it should have been a normal day. Sure, someone had decided to lighten the mood a little bit, leaving drawings lying folded on desks and office doors, but nothing that should have caused any great disturbance among the normal Preventer routine.

Folded neatly on Sally's desk was a picture of her with a mermaid's tail brandishing a trident. A note at the top read "Agent Water." In Noin's desk drawer, a drawing of "Agent Fire" leading a flaming chariot drawn by lions. Une might have had a few words to say, were she present. Taped to her office door was a pencil drawing depicting her, in uniform, thumbing her nose at a clocked figure dubbed "E.V.I.L" while holding the Earth like a basketball.

The first hint of thing being amiss that morning was the rumpled drawing that was used to mop of a spilled cup of coffee. It looked that way. The cup was still lying sideways across the table. The coffee coated paper depicted Dorothy with her dramatic eyebrows lengthened and possibly emitting radio waves: eyebrows that, judging from the cartoonish speech bubbles, also had the ability to read minds.

Tacked up behind the coffee maker itself was a two paged picture showing Heero and Zechs leaning up against a brick wall, looking for all the world like to James Deans, except Heero was wearing a radio collar coloured pink and Zechs wore a sign that read "If I am lost please return me to L. Noin." It was official. Preventer Headquarters had been infiltrated.

Headquarters had a security breach, Une was away, and the bits of paper were everywhere. It didn't take long for the snickers to turn into laughs, for the glares to turn into snarls, for the occasional bleating hysterics followed by occasional loud "thumps."

The coffee room and a few office doors were far from the only targets. On a bulletin board was a lanky youth with his hair growing over one eye, wearing a clown costume, and the caption "do not approach without Kevlar." In the medical ward was a picture of a very tiny Heero inside a pill bottle with the label "keep away from explosive materials and all firearms." Quatre was in a teacup shaped hot tub with a cup of hot tea. "Agent Wind" was finally found taped to the mirror in the atrium. He was flying in grand and artistic fashion above a very large tornado, while wearing very little clothing. The picture was on long, uncut paper and coiled down to the floor. Someone had taken the liberty of moving it to Noin's office door.

It was about this time at least one agent decided to take it upon himself to find the culprit. The possibility of an inside job was most likely, and there was one "target" conspicuously missing.

"Childish nonsense!" A shout was heard from the direction of the workout room. "Duo! Where are you?"

The agent in question was running down another hallway and skidded to stop in front of Wufei at the cross. "Whoa! Where did you come from?"

Wufei thrust the picture into Duo's face. A decidedly familiar looking Chinese featured warrior stood upon a craggy rock, in a furred loincloth, dao proudly held high in the air above his head which was adorned with a horned helm.

Duo's eyes were quite wide. "That's a new look for you."

"Are you going to admit it was you?"

"I wasn't me!"

"We have yet to see yours."

"It's right here." Duo, in return, held a creased peace of paper in Wufei's face. Wufei was presented with the image of Duo, naked, with a coy expression on his face while he stood upon a clam shell, his unbound hair preserving his modesty. "At least you got underwear." Duo handed back Wufei's paper.

Wufei smirked. "My apologies, and condolences." He handed back one piece of paper and pocketed the second one. Before he strode back to his office.

Duo winked, even though he doubted his comrade could see him. "It is pretty funny though!" He looked over to Trowa and Quatre who just arrived through the office door. "Hey! You're just in time for the laughs." Duo waved the paper in his hand and was greeted by Wufei, the Barbarian.

"What- hey!" Duo raced down the hallway where Wufei had left while Trowa grabbed the fluttering piece of paper.

"I think we missed something." Trowa considered the picture of Wufei. "These aren't bad."

"Why does everything think I'm obsessed with tea?"


	5. Soul Men 1,2,6,11

March 26, 2011.

Soul Men

"Did I just see Heero in the hallway?"

Lady Une looked up from her desk as Zechs Marquise walked into her office, a folder and two discs in one hand. He was still looking out the door as he laid the items down next to the files she was leafing through.

"He's here with Maxwell."

"Is there something I should know?" Heero Yuy did not often make his presence known to the uninitiated unless a large portion of the sky was threatening to dislodge.

"No. They're here in an unofficial capacity." Une frowned slightly, and Zechs wondered if she actually needed the glasses that she always wore in her time at OZ. She didn't seem to type to bother with contacts. There's apparently a funding crisis for a couple orphanages on L2. Duo asked for help."

"That's my sister's arena isn't it? I didn't think Preventers did charity cases."

"_Un_-official capacity. He and Heero are borrowing a few items and will not make use of the network."

"Don't worry Lady." Zechs and Une both turned to see the two young men in question as they stood before the elevator door, dressed head to toe in black – suits. "No one will know the head of Preventer has a soft spot of any kind."

The two men looked serious beneath their black hats. Heero adjusted his tie. Une lifted an eyebrow and the other one threatened to follow.

"Just don't get caught boys. I don't want any more politics or bleeding hearts at my door than I already have to deal with."

"We won't get caught," Heero clipped, and Duo followed, slipping on a pair of shades.

"We're on a mission from god."

Zechs and Lady Une watched as the two 'agents' made their way into the elevator.

"Was that a saxophone?"

0000000

Eeeeee! Had to do it!. The image of Heero and Duo dressed up as Jake and Elwood Blues popped into my head some time ago and has been sticking around ever since. Just a short thing to get it out there. ;).


	6. Who let the cat out? 6,13

January 20, 2010

"**Who let the cat out?"**

"Milliardo, th-"

"Treize."

Treize suffered the pale-eyed glare over the rim of his china cup.

"The cat got out. Go put it back in, would you, _Zechs_?"

Zechs shook out the magazine he was reading.

"Why is it always my job to go get the cat?"

"Because Mother asked you to. She doesn't want it worrying the peacocks."

"It's your cat."

"It's your turn."

"You're just jealous because she likes me better than she likes you."

"Zechs, the cat-"

"I'm going."

From his cushioned chair, Zechs uncrossed his legs and laid the magazine down before rising to shimmy out the sliding glass door that revealed part of the Khushrenada's atrium on the other side. Treize set his cup down on the table, the hot beverage inside threatening to spill over as he tried not to snicker at the sounds of Zechs' voice beckoning the cat, trying to make his voice sound endearing, the attempt endearing in itself. He sat back in his seat again, lifting the cup to his lips, then looked towards the door way when he heard foosteps.

Zechs opened the sliding door and stepped into the house, removing his boots just quickly to have the heel of the second boot land on the last portion of the mat while the top part tipped onto the pristine floor.

"She's not coming, I'm getting one of your coats."

Zechs was determinedly out of the room before Trieze could protest and after he gave a resigned sigh.

Treize heard footsteps again, this time at a much, much quicker pace then before and openly smiled at the blond blur that ran past the glass door and into the atrium, followed by a second, longer and, unfortunately, faster blond blur, the two colliding somewhere beyond sight and Treize then found himself struggling to differentiate the laughter from the cursing, the growls from one and the growls from the other.

Within a few minutes, a dishevelled looking Zechs slid through the glass door, dragging his borrowed coat which he left on the mat next to his boots which now bore teeth marks. The African lioness paced back and fourth in front of the glass and stretched herself upright, paws high, to peer in at the two men. She slid back down on her fours and traced her nose along the door where Zechs has just slipped in. The young man was settling back into his previous chair.

Treize looked down into his cup, which was now cold.

"Did you call the tailor?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to get the sleeve back?"

The young lioness outside had a bit of finely stitched fabric pinned with her two front paws a tugged at it with her teeth.

"No."

0000000

This scenario has been in my head for years, I can't believe it never occurred to me to put it here. I've always pictured Treize as being the sort to have his own menagerie. Can't remember if there were peacocks hanging around Romefeller in the series or not but you _know_ that Treize is they to have them on front lawn!


End file.
